One Thousand Faces
by coldfiredragon
Summary: During the summer between Severus' sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts his life takes a turn for the worst. Will Professor Slughorn be able to help him or will he be forced to watch helplessly as Severus slips away from him. very dark, death in later ch
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters or any part of Harry Potter. Please don't sue, I have nothing to give you except my "Katamari Demacy" and "We Love Katamari" games which I will defend with my life. **

**This story is dark and there will be a death. I'm not saying who yet. You have been warned, it will be a very dark piece.**

**Reviews: I love reviews. Please, please, please review. Since we are no longer allowed to put review answers in our fic chapters I will reply to each review individually through the PM system. **

**On with the story.

* * *

**

Severus tried to hide his eagerness as the owls flocked into the great hall to deliver the morning mail. Where was he? He scanned the owls that had swooped down to the Slytherin table and the pit that had formed in his stomach over the past couple days got a little deeper. The last owls flew in and he had to force his disappointment from showing. He pushed the bowl of cereal he had been pretending to eat away before grabbing his bag and leaving the table. He was so upset that he didn't notice the concerned look that he received from one of the Professor's at the head table.

He didn't understand why it hadn't showed up yet. His mother's owl always came on Mondays and today was Thursday and it still wasn't here. She had sent him a letter every week since he had started Hogwarts and they arrived like clockwork with Monday's mail. The fact that it was three days late made him worried and upset. The letters from his mother were one of the only things that he actually looked forward to.

None of the other Slytherins seemed to take any notice of him as he quickly made his way toward the doors of the great hall. None of them ever took any notice of him unless he managed to earn them a few house points with his potions abilities. It was the only thing he had going for himself and the only thing that made him worthwhile in the eyes of the other Slytherins. He was a half-blood in their perfect house and they didn't have time for anyone who fouled their perfection.

He managed to make it out of the great hall before his eyes started to tear up. Why hadn't she written him? Had she finally stopped caring about him? It wouldn't have surprised him if she had. He wasn't worth anyone's time. He gripped the strap of his worn out book bag a little tighter as he made his way through the nearly deserted halls of the castle. Almost everyone was still eating breakfast so the walk to his first class was rather quick.

The hall outside the potion's lab was empty and he quickly composed himself before going inside. Much to his surprise he found Professor Slughorn sitting at his desk grading papers. He swore under his breath. The man had been sitting at the head table when he had left the great hall. How had he made it down here before him?

As he sulked toward his work-bench he could tell that Slughorn was watching him. He was surprised when the elder man actually decided to speak.

"Are you alright Severus? You didn't eat again this morning and I'm worried about you." The idea that his head of house had been watching him shocked him.

"I had a bowl of cereal."

"But you didn't eat it Severus." The list of curses that passed through Severus' mind would have stunned a seventh year but he held them all back.

"So."

"So, that indicates to me that something is wrong. Would you care to tell me what it is?" Severus refused to look at the man.

"It's none of your business. I doubt you would really care anyway."

"You won't know if I care or not unless you tell me." For a second Severus considered telling the man what was bothering him but the door to the potions class chose that moment to swing open as the other students began to trickle in.

Severus could hear Slughorn sigh in frustration as he turned his attention to the rest of the class. The benches slowly filled up and Slughorn was writing the steps of the potion on the board when the door opened a final time to admit James Potter and Sirius Black. Potter was in the middle of telling a joke and Black was in the process of laughing when Professor Slughorn cleared his throat. Both boys looked up at him and Potter flashed an award winning smile that would have melted any other teacher in the school.

"Hello and good morning to you Professor."

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, perhaps you can would care to tell me what is so funny and I dearly hope that it has something to do do with blood-replenishing potion we are discussing in class today. A potion which we have already begun discussing, I might add. Take your seats and I am taking 10 points from each of you for being late to my class for the second time this week." James looked ready to argue but Slughorn stopped him.

"Argue with me and I will make it 20 each Mr. Potter." The boy clamped his mouth shut and immediately made his way to his seat beside Remus Lupin. The Slytherins snickered amongst themselves as their head of house turned back to the board to continue writing the directions for the potion.

Severus was already pulling out the ingredients he needed from his potions kit. By the time Slughorn told them to begin he already had everything out and he and his partner were ready to begin. He was lucky to have a halfway decent potions partner and the pair were the first finished. Severus labeled the and took it to Slughorn's desk. The man took the vial and studied it for a moment before looking up at Severus.

"Very good. The color is about half a shade off but the potion will still be effective. 5 points to you and Mr. Tramms for your effort. Once the two of you have finished cleaning up you are free to leave." Severus was crushed, he had not been off on a potion since second year. Slughorn noticed his disappointment but said nothing. The elder man picked up the stack of papers he had been grading throughout class and pulled out Severus' essay. He wrote a quick note on it and handed it him.

Severus glanced at the essay and was even more displeased to see that he had not received the full marks that he usually got for his potions assignments. The note from Slughorn simply said, "See me later, we need to talk. Come by at 7:00." It was not a request and Severus nodded before returning to his desk to gather his things.

Once he was out of the classroom he all but ran for the Slytherin dorms. He had a free period after his potions class and he wanted to be alone. Immediately upon reaching his room he dove on his bed and pulled the curtains closed before placing silencing and notice-me-not charms on the bed. Slytherins were far too nosy for their own good and he did not want anyone to hear him crying. It would not go over well with the others in his year who saw emotions as a weakness.

He stayed there long after the tears had finally stopped running down his face and he didn't move until it was almost time for him to go to Transfiguration. He cast a concealment charm to hide the fact that he had been upset and quickly made his way to class which, much to his relief passed with any major incidents.

It took him longer to manage the vanishing spell they were attempting and he knew that McGonagall was giving him odd looks as he struggled with the assignment but she didn't say anything and he was grateful for her silence. He didn't want to have to explain why he couldn't concentrate.

The rest of his classes for the day passed in similar fashion. His performance was off and he knew that all of his professors noticed. He was normally a excellent student and to such a marked difference in his performance was something that they immediately noticed.

Dinner finally came around and Severus again found himself picking at his food. He simply had no appetite. He could tell that Slughorn was watching him throughout the meal so he forced himself to eat something. He did not want a lecture about his eating habits when he went to meet with Slughorn after the meal.

Once he had finished he got up and exited the hall. When he got to Slughorn's office he was not surprised to find the man waiting for him once again. The potions master motioned to the couch across from his desk and once Severus had taken a seat he sat down beside him.

Without speaking the elder man picked up a pitcher of pumpkin juice and poured each of them a glass. He handed the first one to Severus and was clearly waiting for him to drink before taking a drink of his own. Reluctantly Severus sipped the juice and immediately recognized that the drink had been heavily dosed with a nutritional potion.

He glared at his professor as he sat the glass back on the table. Slughorn merely glared back.

"You aren't leaving until that glass is empty." Severus stared at the man in disbelief.

"You are joking." He got up to leave but quickly realized that the room had been warded to prevent his exit. "What kind of game are you playing?" He hissed dangerously.

"I'm not playing a game. You aren't eating, your grades are slipping, and I'm worried about you. You can talk to me Severus, please." Severus turned away from Slughorn and refused to look at the man.

"I told you it was none of your business."

"I'm making it my business by deciding to care about one of my students. You can fight me all you want but in the end I'm only trying to help. I don't care if you tell me but you are not leaving this room without drinking that juice. You can fight me all you want but I know I'm stronger then you and you can't get through the wards unless I let you out." Severus turned to stare at the man.

"So you are going to force me stay here?" Slughorn did not back down at the sight of the boy's glare.

"Yes." His response seemed to bring Severus close to tears and the boy turned away from him again.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm allowed to care about my students Severus. Something is bothering you and it worries me."

"You are just afraid that I'll jeopardize our chance at the house cup." Now it was Slughorn's turn to be surprised.

"Is that really what you think?"

"It's all my house mates care about. Why would you be any different? You can't fix anything anyway."

"I can try if I know the problem."

"No you can't." Severus knew he wasn't going anywhere so he returned to the couch and buried his head in his hands. In a soft voice he continued.

"You will only make things worse. Just let me go I don't want to talk about it."

"Severus..."

"I said I don't want to talk about it. Please don't force me to." Severus could hear the man sigh.

"It's easier when you talk about things. I know most Slytherins are discouraged from doing so but it does help. If you need to talk my office is always open. You are finishing the juice though. I will not risk you collapsing in one of your classes." Severus was going to protest but Slughorn cut him off. "Drink it or I'm taking you to Poppy." Severus grimaced and picked up the glass.

The potion was slightly bitter but he decided to drink it quickly before Slughorn decided that just drinking the potion wasn't enough and forced him to stay longer. Once the glass was empty he placed it back on the table and turned his gaze back to his professor.

"I guess that's all I'm getting out of you tonight. You are free to go." Severus wasted no time grabbing is bag and disappearing from the room. Slughorn watched him go in dismay. He had been keeping a close eye on the boy since he had been sorted into Slytherin and he did not like what he had seen, especially over the last week. Something was bothering the boy and he intended to find out what it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters or any part of Harry Potter. Please don't sue, I have nothing to give you except my "Katamari Demacy" and "We Love Katamari" games which I will defend with my life. **

**This story is a challenge response to a story on the "Third Floor Corridor" Website.**

**This story is dark and there will be a death. I'm not saying who yet. You have been warned, it will be a very dark piece.**

**Reviews: I love reviews. Please, please, please review. Since we are no longer allowed to put review answers in our fic chapters I will reply to each review individually through the PM system. **

**On with the story.

* * *

**

The rest of the week passed in a similar manner for Severus. Each morning he would watch for his mother's owl and everyday that passed without hearing from her he got more and more depressed. The meager appetite he had had earlier in the week became almost non-existent and he found himself crying himself to sleep every night as the week dragged on.

He couldn't get around the idea that something had happened to his mother that was preventing her from writing to him but he had no way to contact her. His family didn't have a floo connection and the letter he had sent to his mother had come back unopened. He was afraid that she didn't care about him anymore. The woman had been the only one who supported him and he now found himself alone. He was glad that there was only a month of the school term left so he could finally go home and figure out what had happened.

Going home meant that he would have to deal with his father but as long as he got to see his mother he would be able to deal with that. His father had never abused him physically but the mental abuse that the man constantly threw at him often hurt worse. He hated his father but their was nothing he could do about the fact that his mother had chosen to fall in love with a muggle. She had told Severus that the man wasn't so bad when he wasn't drunk but Severus remembered very few moments in his childhood when his father had not been drunk.

His mother clearly had good memories of the man and Severus knew that she thought she could bring back the man she had married years ago. Severus had tried to get her to leave him numerous times but she had always refused to go. He had finally given up trying during the summer between his second and third year at Hogwarts.

With a sigh poured a portion of his potion into the vial on his table and carefully labeled it. He then took it up to Slughorn for the man's inspection. Slughorn took the vial and handed Severus his homework from the last class. This lesson, like the last one, contained a message informing him of another meeting between himself and Slughorn.

The fact that the man had not given up angered him. The professor seemed to actually care about him for some reason. He knew that Slughorn chose the students he considered his favorites very carefully and he didn't understand how he had fallen into that select group. His family was not wealthy, or connected and his mother had lost whatever social status she had had as a witch when she had chosen to marry a muggle. The only thing that Severus had going for himself were his grades and his unmatched skills in the potions lab.

The rest of the day passed too quickly before he found himself knocking on Slughorn's door. Slughorn greeted him and motioned him inside. The second the door clicked shut Severus wished that he had not come. He could see the large pitcher of pumpkin juice waiting for him and he curled up on the couch and he waited for Slughorn to start lecturing him.

The man didn't even bother to lecture him and simply poured him a tall glass of the drugged juice which he patiently held out to Severus.

"Drink it." With a sigh of frustration Severus took the glass and took a long drink. "You have to eat Severus. You are going to make yourself extremely sick if you keep this up. Do you understand me?" Severus nodded weakly as he took another drink of the juice. He could already feel the effects of the powerful potion as it spread through his body.

"I want to know what is bothering you. Whatever it is, it's obviously serious enough to cause you to take risks with your health. You have a lot of potential but not if you kill yourself while you are still in school"

"You can't change anything." Severus hung his head and allowed the soft black strands of his hair to block his face from view as he curled up in a tighter ball. "You can't change the fact that nobody gives a damn about what happens to me." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he immediately regretted saying anything.

"What makes you say that?" The words made Severus angry.

"It should be pretty damn obvious that everyone in this school hates me. I can't get a moment of peace, what with Potter and his friends making my life hell, and you trying to act like you actually care. I don't have anything to offer you. My family doesn't have any money and we don't know anyone in the ministry. I don't know why you are bothering to waste your time on me." Slughorn frowned at him.

"You are right, I'm not going to gain anything by helping you. It isn't always about the money boy. Get that through your thick skull right now." Severus tightened his grip on the glass in his hand.

"What is it about then?" Slughorn was clearly getting frustrated with him but he didn't care.

"Do you know how many fully certified potion masters there are in Europe?" Severus remained silent and refused to answer him. "There are less then a dozen of us boy. Five of which are over 100 years old. You do the math. Why else would I, as you put it, waste my time on you?" Severus was surprised. He knew that a mastery in potions was one of the most difficult masteries to achieve but he had had no idea that there were so few who had actually qualified.

"Why are there so few?" Slughorn chuckled darkly.

"Most of the promising students get themselves killed. That's why I'm interested in you. I think you might be smart enough NOT to get yourself killed."

"Quit playing games with me, why should you care." Slughorn reached over and took a glass of wine from his desk. He took a long drink before speaking.

"I need an apprentice. I don't intend to teach forever and I want to pass my skills on to someone else."

"What makes you think I would ever return to this school after I graduate? Especially as a professor? I hate it here. There is no way I'd even think about teaching."

"Don't jump to conclusions. I didn't say a single word about teaching. I said I needed a potions apprentice. Are you interested or not? I can always ask Miss Evans." Slughorn smirked as he noticed the boy across from him stiffen.

"You seem opposed to that plan. Can I assume that you are interested?"

"I just don't want Evans to get it." Slughorn took another drink from his glass and stared at the boy.

"That's not your only reason?"

"Don't pretend to know me. You've never taken an interest in me before so you have no idea what I'm thinking."

"You are a half-blood in Slytherin. You wouldn't be here if you weren't ambitious."

"Don't mention that outside this room." Slughorn studied the furious boy before him with a critical eye.

"You are ambitious though, you can't deny that. You want the job I'm offering you because you want to prove that you aren't simply a worthless half-blood."

"I told you not to talk about it."

"Fine I won't but we both know it's the truth." Severus remained silent and refused to look at the older man. It was clear to Slughorn that the boy was ashamed of his family and he chose not to confront the boy about that right now. Instead he reached across his desk and picked up a scroll that was sealed with wax.

He threw the scroll to Severus who caught it.

"Read it." Severus slid thumb under the wax seal and unrolled the parchment. He examined the information penned in Slughorn's neat script.

"It's a timetable."

"Very good Severus. I'm glad you can read. Now what is it a timetable for?" Severus glared at him with an annoyed scowl on his face.

"A potions timetable. What do you want me to do with this?"

"That list includes a potions timetable for the next four months. I expect each potion on that list completed and submitted for my review by the date it is due. You will get a new timetable along with your class schedule when you arrive at the beginning of school year." Severus studied the list in silence.

"Most of these potions seem pretty easy."

"Your assignments will get more difficult if you prove to me that you are worth my time." Severus stared at the list in silence. "You should get started the first potions are due in two days. You will adhere to a rigid schedule and if you fail to meet my expectations I'll find someone more suitable." Clearly realizing that the words were meant as a dismissal. As he reached the door Slughorn called to him.

"You will also eat. I will not have an apprentice who cannot take proper care of themselves."

The next month passed quickly for Severus. The list of potions, which had seemed so easy at first, had quickly proved to be much more difficult then he had expected. It did give him a method to avoid Potter and the others in his year though. He spent every available moment in the potions lab that Slughorn had designated for his use. The fact that his mother still failed to write him faded to a dull ache. He missed her terribly but with the end of the year fast approaching he really didn't have time to think about it.

He managed to pass his exams with flying colors but the last month of school passed by in a haze. All too quickly he found himself loading his things onto the Hogwarts express. Under his Hogwarts robes he was wearing a pair of tattered black jeans and a muggle band t-shirt. His father would not be pleased if he showed up at the station in wizards robes. The man was a muggle and he fully expected his son to act and appear normal during the summer.

He found an empty compartment and made himself comfortable. Before he had left he had snuck into Slughorn's study and swiped several of the man's books on advanced potions theory. He would need something to do over the summer since he rarely left the house. He was at least fortunate that his mother had a well stocked potions lab in their basement and that the ministry allowed potions brewing by underage wizards during the summer. Otherwise keeping to Slughorn's schedule would have been impossible.

By the time the train reached the station a pit had formed in his stomach. His mother would be waiting for him on the platform and after not hearing from her for a month he had no idea what he was going to say to her. He wanted to yell and scream at her but at the same time he would be grateful to see her. He had missed her terribly and he just wanted everything to go back to the way it had been before.

He felt the jolt of the train as it pulled to a stop and he could hear the excited voices of the other students as they hurried to reach the platform to find their families. He waited for a minute until the worst of the rush had died down then he grabbed the handle of his trunk and made his way toward the exit of the car. As he reached the steps he glanced around eagerly for any sign of his mother. Much to his disappointment he saw no sign of her.

/_where could she be/_ He wondered silently. With an aggravated sigh he grabbed his trunk off the train and grabbed a deserted trolley. With the weight of his trunk neutralized by the wheels of the trolley he set out to find her.

Two hours later she had still not shown up and he was really worried. By that time the platform was practically empty so he slipped into the bathroom to remove his robes. When he was dressed normally by muggle standards he slipped through the barrier onto the muggle part of the station. When he still didn't see either of his parents he felt panic gripping his chest.

_/Why aren't they here? They couldn't have forgotten about me./ _He felt like crying but refused to allow himself to break down. Logically they would be there to get him soon. Something had happened to make them late was all. He considered going to the station's information desk and having them paged but he didn't want his father to be angry with him. The man was probably already furious about having to come pick him up. He looked around and noticed a bench where he could watch the entrance to the Platform while still watching the rest of the muggle station.

Another hour passed before he finally gave up. With a sigh he grabbed his trunk and made his away outside. He walked around the corner away from the station and hailed the Knight Bus. It appeared soon after and he instructed the driver to drop him a couple blocks from his father's home. When the bus dropped him off he bid farewell to the driver and made his way down the street. By the time he reached the door of his family's home he was soaked in sweat from dragging the heavy trunk. All he wanted was to take a shower and figure out why his parents hadn't picked him up. He could see his father's car in the driveway and he was immediately pissed off. He could not believe that the man hadn't even bothered to pick him up.

He dug his house key out of his pocket and slid it into the lock. It turned easily and he heard the click of the lock. With a sigh he pulled the door open and dragged his trunk inside. The smell of stale alcohol and cigarette smoke assailed his senses. It was a smell he had become used to over the years so he ignored it and focused on shutting the door.

"Mum, I'm home." He could hear movement from the direction of the living room and waited as the noise got closer. Much to his aggravation his father was the one to come around the corner. The man had clearly been drinking but he didn't seem as drunk as he normally was.

"What the hell are you doing here?" The man slurred.

"I live here." Severus snapped. "Where the hell is my mother?" A series of emotions including surprise and sadness passed over the man's face. As he waited for his father to speak Severus suddenly felt very afraid.

"Didn't you get my letter?"

"What letter?" Severus could tell him voice was shaking but he forced himself to remain calm.

"The letter I sent you about your mother. She died just over a month ago. She fell down the stairs in the middle of the night." The tone of his father's voice caused a wave of cold to flood through Severus' system. He could not believe this was happening. It couldn't be happening. It simply wasn't possible, his father had to be lying.

"Your lying." The sorrow on his father's face told him the truth and he felt his hands begin to shake. This was not happening. _/Please let it be a bad dream./_ He begged silently. _/Please let me wake up./_

"It's not a lie Severus. I'm sorry." The fact that his father had actually called him by his first name cemented the fact that what he was saying was the truth. He still chose to deny it though because admitting it would bring his world crashing down even more then it already was.

"Your Lying!" He hissed in anger. His father moved faster then he had ever seen him move and Severus gasped in pain as his father grabbed his wrist and squeezed. The sudden pain brought him to his senses and he realized that his father really wasn't lying to him. Suddenly he felt his knees buckling and tears started to form at the corners of his eyes. His father finally let go of his wrist and Severus pulled his arms close to his chest. He was freezing and he tried to ignore the buzzing that had suddenly filled his ears.

He was surprised when his father knelt down in front of him and placed his hands and his shoulders. "Head downstairs and get cleaned up. I'll bring your trunk down later." Severus nodded weakly and stood. His legs were still shaking but he managed to make it downstairs. He stripped off his clothes and grabbed a towel before heading into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and waited as the water heated up. His mind was racing and he could not believe that this had happened. He didn't even realize how hot he had turned the water to when he stepped into the shower. At that point he would have done anything to feel warm again. To know that his mother was waiting for him. It wasn't going to happen though.

He felt the tears he had forced back earlier rise to his eyes and this time he didn't try to stop them. With a sob he lowered himself down to the floor the shower and pulled his eyes to his chin. The hot water was scalding but he didn't care as he allowed himself to cry.

By the time he had calmed down the water had turned from scalding to freezing and he realized that he was shivering violently. His an aggravated sigh he got out and wrapped the towel around his waist. As he went into his room he realized that his father had actually brought his trunk down like he had promised. Not really caring about how he looked Severus simply pulled on the jeans he had been wearing earlier and threw himself onto the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters or any part of Harry Potter. Please don't sue, I have nothing to give you except my "Katamari Demacy" and "We Love Katamari" games which I will defend with my life. **

**This story is dark and there will be a death. I'm not saying who yet. You have been warned, it will be a very dark piece.**

**Reviews: I love reviews. Please, please, please review. Since we are no longer allowed to put review answers in our fic chapters I will reply to each review individually through the PM system. **

**On with the story.

* * *

**

Severus awoke the next morning with a terrible headache. For a second he didn't realize where he was but the events of the previous evening came back to him in wave after wave of images. Tears immediately sprang to his eyes as he curled up in a small ball. His room was freezing and he wrapped the thin blanket a little tighter around his body. He could not believe that his life was falling apart so quickly.

There was nothing he could do though. His mother had been dead for over a month and there was nothing save the darkest magics that could bring her back. Even then it wouldn't really be her. What he was feeling now was worse then anything he had ever experienced in his life but there was absolutely nothing he could do. Even his father had seemed upset about the fact that she was dead.

He knew that he should get up but he just couldn't force himself to move. He also knew that his headache was due to the fact that he hadn't eaten the night before and that he should go upstairs and find something that would help. He also needed to start on the list of Slughorn's potions. He couldn't fail at that like he had failed at everything else in his life.

With a sigh he forced himself to stand. His mother's potions lab was on the other end of the basement. With another sigh he walked to his trunk and pulled out a clean t-shirt. He pulled it over his head and ran his fingers through his chin length hair. Not really caring how he looked he made his way out of his room towards her lab. As he touched the knob he realized that his hands were shaking.

As he opened the door the smell of his mother's potions ingredients assaulted his senses and he felt tears well up in his eyes. He couldn't do this. He couldn't go in there, not now, not so soon. With a jerk he pulled the door closed and wiped a few stray tears from his cheeks. With another sigh he pushed himself away from the door and made his way towards the stairs.

He found his father in the living room surrounded by empty beer bottles. The man looked up at him and glared as he entered. Severus leaned against the wall and glared right back at the man. His father spoke first. Severus could tell that he was more drunk then he had been the night before.

"Back to your normal defiant little self I see, and to think I was actually sorry for you last night. I can see that I was wrong." The man stood and took a menacing step toward Severus. "You were never worth my time you miserable little snake."

"Don't talk to me like I'm worthless. I'm stronger then you will ever be."

"Only with your magic but I know that you can't use that during the summer. You will get expelled and with your mother dead you know you can't let that happen. I'm not stupid boy." Severus ground his teeth in anger. He knew that his father was right. There was nothing he could do and his father was considerably stronger then he was. By this time his father was standing just in front of him.

"Do you understand me boy?" Severus refused to meet the man's eyes.

"Yes." Much to his surprise the man reached out and grabbed his arms. He shook Severus violently and threw the boy to the ground. The violence of his father's actions frightened Severus but he knew that there was nothing he could do to stop the man. He had no place to go and if he used magic to stop his father he would be expelled from school.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"That's better. Just do what I say and we might actually get along this summer." With that he stepped around Severus and moved into the kitchen. Severus in turn climbed shakily to his feet. He had realized very quickly that his best bet would be to stay out of the man's way.

The next few days passed quickly. Severus found himself still unable to enter his mother's potions lab. As he was studying his list he realized that his inability to do so had probably already cost him his apprenticeship. The idea that he had lost his chance sent him into a spiral of depression and he took to simply staying in his room whenever possible.

He had taken some food from the kitchen when his father had gone out to replenish his liquor supply and now almost never left his room. He didn't know how his father was reacting to his absence but he really didn't care to find out. To entertain himself he read through his school books and when he was too tired to do anything else he slept.

One night he was awakened by the overwhelming smell of liquor and a pain in his wrist. His eyes flew open to find his father standing over him. As his senses adjusted to a state of awareness he realized just how powerful the smell of liquor was. It smelled as though his father had literally bathed in the substance and as his father's grip tightened on his wrist Severus realized that the man was so drunk that he didn't even realize what he was doing.

"Father you're hurting me. Let me go." He knew that his pleas were pointless as his father pulled him upward and dragged him out of bed. Severus had to force back the scream of pain that escaped is throat as he heard the bones in his wrist snap from the force. His father threw him to the floor and Severus held his injured wrist to his chest as he blindly tried to reach his wand which was lying on his bedroom table. Just as his fingers closed around the slim wooden shaft his father kicked him hard in the stomach. The wand went flying across the floor and out of Severus' reach.

He looked up to see his father staring down at him. Severus tried to get up but the pain in his wrist and stomach prevented it. His father leaned down over him and grinned at him.

"I'm going to make you pay for all the years you have humiliated me." Severus felt fear pool inside him as his father's alcohol laden breath flowed over him. His fear grew when his father reached down and grabbed his unbroken wrist and pulled him up.

"You have your mother's hands you know that boy? She was always going on about how you were going to make a wonderful potions master when you were older."

"What are you going to do?" Severus couldn't keep the fear out of his voice as his father tightened his grip on his wrist. His father's only response was moving his free hand to grip Severus' fingers. The man examined them for a few seconds before his grin widened. Before Severus realized what was about to happen he tightened his grip and twisted. Severus was paralyzed as wave after wave of pain ripped through his arm as the bones in his knuckles snapped. A strangled sob escaped his throat as his father readjusted his grip and twisted again. This time he could feel the bones in his lower hand and wrist snap.

"Stop." He begged desperately between sobs. He could hardly remain conscious as wave upon wave of pain shot through him.

His father was chuckling insanely as he let go of Severus and allowed the boy to slip to the floor. A soft scream of pain escaped from Severus' throat as he tried to cushion his fall with his injured wrist. Somehow he was still awake and as he desperately prayed to fall unconscious. He could see hear his father walking around to face him. Then much to his horror he felt the heel of his father's boot as it landed on his uninjured hand. His father applied pressure and he cried out as he felt the bones of his fingers and hand snap under the pressure.

He could almost see the blackness as it spread across his vision and willingly gave into the relief of cool unconsciousness. We awoke an unknown number of hours later and was immediately assaulted by the scent of blood and pain like he had never felt. He was lying on his bed and he tried to move his hands only to realize that moving them caused more pain them simply leaving them still.

He was afraid to look and see how bad they actually were but he knew that he would have to at some point and he wasn't a coward by any means. When he finally did look he desperately wished that he had not. His hands and fingers were a twisted mess of swollen skin, twisted angles and blood. He could see where the bones had broken through the skin in several places. With a sob he quickly averted his eyes.

The possibility of becoming a potions master was officially gone now. His father had known exactly how to hurt him in a manner that he couldn't recover from. He could barely move in this state, let alone open a door or hold his wand. He felt panic and nausea rise in his stomach. What was he going to do? By the time someone who could help him found him he would probably have lost most of the use of his hands. He couldn't stop the tears that were running down his face. There was no point anymore.

He tried to move into a more comfortable position but was quickly assaulted with waves of pain and vertigo. He had never felt so weak in his life and he allowed himself to slip into unconsciousness once again.

Slughorn stared at the clock in office with an aggravated sigh. It had been over a week since the students had gone home and he should have received potion samples from Severus twice already. He had expected excellent things from the boy after receiving his work during the last month of the school year.

Severus had seemed to genuinely taken a liking to his assignments as an apprentice. The boy had worked harder then Slughorn had ever seen him work and even though something had still clearly bothered the boy he had hid it well. Something must have gone wrong if Severus had still not contacted him. He had considered contacting the boy earlier in the week when the first batch had fallen short but he had decided against it but since the second batch was late was well he decided that he probably should check on his apprentice.

Remembering that Severus' father was a muggle he quickly changed into normal clothing. He would get a far better reaction from the man if he appeared to be a normal professor rather then showing up dressed as an obvious wizard. Once he was dressed he tucked his hand in his wrist holster and left the castle. Once he stepped outside the apparation wards surrounding the castle he disappeared and arrived shortly thereafter outside a normal house.

He quickly straightened his clothing and walked up to the front door of the correct house. He knocked and waited. After a couple of minutes he heard someone making their way towards the door. As the door opened Slughorn took a step back as the scent of stale liquor washed over him. The man smelled like he had taken a bath in the substance.

"Are you Mr. Snape?" He asked politely. The man glared down at him in a manner that clearly reminded him of Severus when the boy was angry. The man was tall like Severus but unlike Severus, who was like a stick, this man was much bigger and well built.

"Why are you asking?" The man was clearly trying to force him to leave and had he not been a wizard he would have taken the man's unspoken warning.

"I believe you have a son named Severus. The boy is a student of mine. Is his mother home? I feel that she and I would get along better."

"His mother is dead. The boy is my concern during the summer. You can leave now."

"I have things to discuss with your son. I'm not leaving until I speak with him."

"This is private property. Leave or I will call the watch." Slughorn could tell that something was bothering the man and that the elder Snape had no intention of allowing him into the house. Realizing that he would have to take drastic measures he removed his wand from its holster and pointed it at the man.

"Let me see Severus and I won't have to use this." He watched the man back up a couple of steps but the alcohol had clearly killed his sense of better judgment.

"Leave now." Slughorn ignored him and stepped inside.

Severus?" He called loudly. When he got no response he turned to the man before him. "Where is he?" The man glared at him and refused to answer. "I can force you to tell me you know." The bigger man lugged at him in anger and Slughorn took that as his opportunity to restrain the man.

"Petrificus Totalus!" He watched in amusement as the elder Snape fell to the floor in a full body bind. The man clearly struggled but quickly realized that he wasn't going anywhere and glared at the professor with a look of total hatred. Slughorn smirked at him as he knelt down to the bound man's eye level. "Care to tell me where Severus is now?"

"The basement. He's down there."

"Thank you for your help my good man. I'll take my leave of you now." With that he made his way over to the stairwell which twisted downward. When he got to the bottom of the stairwell he glanced around. There were a couple rooms down here and rather then search them all he called out.

"Severus? Are you down here?" When he got no response he realized that he would have to search manually for the boy. He glanced around a selected a small room near the end of the basement. He quickly walked down the hall until he reached the door. He was about to knock when a faint sound caught his ear. "It sounded vaguely like a sob. With a sudden sense of urgency Slughorn tried the door only to find it locked. That problem was quickly fixed and he found himself entering the room. The only light in the small room came from a lamp on the desk in the corner. As he entered he could smell blood and his stomach lurched a bit.

"Severus? Lumos." He held his wand up and made his way further into the room. He could see the boy's slim form outlined on the bed but Severus made no move to acknowledge his presence. As he neared the bed the smell of blood got stronger and he could see that Severus was clearly asleep. The beads of sweat that had formed on the boy's forehead worried him and he reached out a tentative hand to touch Severus' forehead. The gentle touch caused Severus to pull away violently and a soft sob escaped the boy's throat

The brief touch caused him to realize that Severus was running a terribly high fever. He could also tell that the boy wasn't wearing a shirt and that the thin blanket was the only thing keeping him warm. With a sigh of frustration Slughorn moved the blanket downward and he felt the bottom of his stomach rise to his throat as he saw Severus' hands. The damage was a couple of days old and Slughorn silently cursed the man who he had met upstairs while at the same time praying that he was not too late to help the boy before him.

He reached down and grabbed a small bag that hung on is belt. With trembling hands he opened it and pulled out a couple potion vials. His long years had taught him never to go anywhere without his potions and they would come in handy this time.

"Ennervate." Waking the boy probably wasn't the best idea but he had to give the boy the potions or he would not be able to move him. A soft sob pulled him from his thoughts. Severus was awake but his eyes were glassed over with pain and fever. At the sight of Slughorn Severus tried to move away. It was obvious that Severus was terrified of his presence and there was little he could do to calm the boy's fears. Getting the potions down the boy's throat was much easier then he had anticipated though. At first Severus had fought him but once the first portion of the calming potion took effect he was much easier to manage.

Even with the calming and pain relieving potions the boy was still in a considerable amount of pain and he still wasn't aware of who was taking care of him. Slughorn really couldn't blame the boy either. What Severus had been through was a traumatizing experience. When the boy had finally fallen back to sleep Slughorn sat on the edge of his bed and watched him. With a gentle hand he reached out and tucked a damp lock hair behind the boy's ear. The fever had dropped slightly but it was still too high and Slughorn knew that he had to get Severus the help of a real medi-wizard as soon as possible. There was little he could do for the boy's hands at the moment and that was his most pressing concern. The bones were splintered in so many places that fully healing them would take a small miracle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters or any part of Harry Potter. Please don't sue, I have nothing to give you except my "Katamari Demacy" and "We Love Katamari" games which I will defend with my life. **

**This story is dark and there will be a death. I'm not saying who yet. You have been warned, it will be a very dark piece.**

**Reviews: I love reviews. Please, please, please review. Since we are no longer allowed to put review answers in our fic chapters I will reply to each review individually through the PM system. **

**This is the final chapter and it ends with a death. You have been warned.

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Severus awoke to find himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. Not knowing where he was caused panic to form in the pit of his stomach. He forced the feeling back down for the time being and surveyed his surrounding. It took him a couple minutes but he abruptly realized that his hands and wrists no longer hurt as badly as they had. The pain, which had been like white hot knives before, had dulled to a general ache.

He didn't want to look though. The lose of pain was probably just due to the fact that the nerves of his hands had been destroyed. As an experiment he tried to flex his fingers and was more than a little surprised when they actually responded.

_/What the hell is going on/_ He wondered. Working up his courage he finally forced himself to look down at his hands. Rather then the swollen mass of crocked tissue that he remembered all he saw now was his normal pale skin. Despite the normal appearance he quickly realized that his hands had been changed by the whole ordeal. The joints were sore and his hands and fingers were littered with thin white scars from where the bones had broken through the skin.

Once the shock had worn off the memories of what had happened quickly returned with such a force that he was left shaking. He remembered how angry his father had been and the phantom pains of his broken fingers still haunted him. He remembered lying in bed as a fever overcame him and the panic that had gripped his chest when he had realized that he might just end up dead before someone found him. With a sob he curled up in a ball with his back to the door and pulled the blanket close to his chin.

_/Maybe I'm dead./_ The possibility wouldn't have surprised him in the least. He had never really expected to live long after the fever started and he had begun to slip in and out of consciousness. Suddenly he heard the sound of the door opening and he tensed involuntarily.

"Severus?"

/Was that Slughorn's voice? It can't be./ A shiver passed down his spine and he tried to pretend that he was still asleep. His professor couldn't be there. It was impossible. Despite his continued denial the man was still talking to him.

"Are you awake? It's all right now." He could hear Slughorn's slow measured footsteps as he moved closer to the bed. Despite himself Severus was terrified. He didn't think Slughorn would actually hurt him but he had never thought that his father would actually hurt him either.

The bed creaked as Slughorn sat on the edge of it and Severus felt his shoulders start to shake. He tried to stop them but the couldn't. Slughorn placed a hand on his shoulder and Severus almost cried out but managed to stop himself.

"It's all right Severus. It's over I'm not going to hurt you. You are at Hogwarts. In my spare bedroom. You are staying here for the rest of the summer. Just calm down. If you want to talk I'll be out in the main rooms." With that the bed creaked again and Slughorn left the room. Severus was confused. How had he gotten here? Why was he here? In the end his questions far outweighed the answers he had so he forced himself to stand.

A quick glance around the room revealed his trunk sitting at the end of his bed. He opened the lock and was immediately relieved to see his wand lying on top of the pile. The rest of his things from his room were also there. He grabbed clean clothes and and changed quickly before shoving his wand into his jeans pocket and making his way to the door of his room. As he touched the door handle he hesitated. He didn't really want to do this but he had to know what had happened.

When he entered the main room he found Slughorn sitting in an armchair. The man turned to face him and nodded his encouragement. When Severus was sitting across from him he pulled out a flask and poured the liquor into two glasses, one of which he pushed to Severus.

"Fire whiskey, drink it." Knowing that he would need all the help he could get to make it through whatever he was about to go through he gladly accepted the drink and downed it in one shot. The liquid burned down his throat and warmth spread through his system.

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You have to talk about it sometime." Severus' eyes narrowed.

"No I don't."

"Fine I won't push. Anyway I'm sure you want to know how you got here. When you missed your second batch of potion samples I decided to come check on you. I found you and brought you back here. You've spent the last couple of days sleeping." Severus nodded and leaned back against the couch." The two sat in silence for several seconds before Slughorn continued. "How are your hands?" He asked quietly. He could see Severus flex his hands experimentally and he could see the wince of pain as he did so.

"Still sore I see."

"Yes." Slughorn sighed.

"Fine you don't have to talk to me. You will be staying here. If you wish to continue your apprenticeship you may use my potions lab. When you decide to talk to me I'll listen." Realizing that he was dismissed Severus stood and made his way back to his room.

The next weeks passed by in a haze. Severus retreated into his music and continued the potions timetable and even managed to make up the potions he had missed during the first two weeks of the summer. Slughorn had complimented him on his ability to make muggle technology work inside the castle. He had ignored the praise. Slughorn had hoped that as time passed that Severus would open up but Severus remained distant and refused to acknowledge Slughorn when the man tried to bring up the incidents at the beginning of the summer.

He could tell that Slughorn was frustrated with his refusal to speak about the whole ordeal but he stubbornly refused to talk about it. It was just too much for him to think about. Every time he tried to rationalize what had happened it sent him into a series of flashbacks and he would find himself in tears. Seeing that this would always be the case he simply refused to think about it.

As the beginning of his seventh year approached he became more and more withdrawn and focused all of his time into his potions studies. At all hours Slughorn could find him in the potions lab with his headphones on and loud muggle rock music playing. He dreaded the return of his fellow students and especially the return of Potter and his friends.

He didn't even bother to celebrate his seventeenth birthday. His coming of age had come to late for him to celebrate. If he had turned seventeen just a few months earlier he would have been able to prevent the attack by his father. The realization had sent him into a spiral of depression that Slughorn had been powerless to stop and to watch Severus simply retreat into his potions and music tore the older man apart.

By the time that the school year had started Severus had completely withdrawn from anyone and everything but his potions and his music. He only ate or slept when he had to and when the other students arrived he quietly took his place at the end of the Slytherin table. He doubted that anyone on the train had missed his presence and he simply decided to stay out of the way.

The year progressed more rapidly then any other year of school but he hardly took notice of the fast pace. He was still tormented by Potter and his friends but he simply refused to fight back. Letting them do whatever they wanted simply became part of his survival method. The day to day teasing was simply became part of his routine. He ignored them when he could but he knew that his lack of reaction infuriated Potter and Black to no end and they began trying to find more and more ways to humiliate him. If he had actually cared it might have actually bothered him but he didn't let it bother him until the end of the year. As the week of their N.E.W.T.S. approached he suddenly became aware of just what his uncaring state had brought on him.

Potter and Black had been particularly brutal to him and started escaping the castle to avoid them. During these times he would often stay down around the lake where it was relatively quite but since it was so close to the end of the year it was more crowded then usual as students attempted to escape the oppressing feel of the castle.

He had never dreamed that Potter and his friends would find him while he was there or that they would take the opportunity to utterly humiliate him in such a manner or that Evans would attempt to come to his aid. He knew that it was hypocritical of himself to treat her in the manner that he did but he didn't really care. Her friends had completely humiliated him in front of half of the school.

They hadn't let him down until one of the teachers came to investigate the crowd by the lake and even then Potter and Black had only gotten off with minor warnings and a couple detentions. The experience, however, had completely destroyed any progress that Severus had made over the last few months.

By the time he had escaped the laughing crowd and made it back into the castle he was barely holding onto his fragile control. He wanted to cry but he held himself in check until he made it back into Slughorn's quarters. The room he had used during the summer was still set up for his use and he immediately threw himself on the bed and began to cry.

How could they have done something like that to him? He knew that they hated him but they had no right to make him feel so vulnerable. It was almost like he was with his father again. It had been a situation that he had absolutely no control over and the sudden lose of control had torn down his fragile barriers that he had built around the memories of his father.

Slughorn found him several hours later and gave him calming potions and a dreamless sleep before leaving him to manage his emotions by himself. By that point he didn't even care anymore. His N.E.W.T.S. were finished and he had done extremely well on the ones that were necessary for him to continue his apprenticeship under Slughorn. He was not concerned with what would come after. He would finish his apprenticeship and where he went from there was still undecided.

He had heard quite a bit from his fellow Slytherins about a wizard named Voldemort who was quickly gaining power. He knew that the man was looking for promising students and followers and that the man hated muggles and mudbloods more then anything in the world. The opportunities that presented themselves if he joined were numerous and his skills as a potions master were always in high demand. With his mind made up he made a rare appearance in the common room that night.

It was easy to isolate the students who knew the most about this man named Voldemort. Most of them were in his year and two of them even wore the man's mark already. They were all too eager to gain favor in their lord's eyes by bringing the man new followers and one of them agreed to take Severus before Voldemort immediately after they left Hogwarts for the summer.

Severus had quickly agreed and eagerly awaited the end of term. As the occasion grew closer he had to force his nervousness away. He knew that he was only a half-blood and if Voldemort realized the truth he could very well end of dead. At least if he were killed it would end his miserable existence and he wouldn't have to suffer anymore. The idea that he might die during the encounter brought a strange sense of peace to him that had been missing since he had failed to receive his mother's letter well over a year ago.

The night of the meeting finally arrived and he met his contact as he had been instructed to and the former student, who called himself a death eater, took him by port-key to the place where the meetings of Voldemort's followers took place.

They arrived early and Severus was able to observe as the other followers arrived. Each of them wore their black robes and ivory masks with a pride that frightened him. Their masks glowed in the torch light as though they were alive and he realized that what he was attempting to join was something very dangerous and evil. It would be a force that would change the face of the wizarding world.

Suddenly there was a final crack as a hooded figure appeared. All the men around him immediately fell to their knees and Severus joined them in revering the figure. The amount of power that Severus could feel coming from the man was enormous and he felt himself admiring the sheer amount of power that the stranger possessed. It was awe inspiring and terrifying at the same time and he could not believe that he was in such a man's presence.

The meeting proceeded in what he assumed was a normal fashion and then the man, Voldemort, called for all new hopefuls to step forward and state why they wished to join his forces. When it was Severus' turn his reason was simple. He wanted revenge against his father and against Potter and Black for humiliating him.

The figure had laughed quietly and told him that his revenge would be his if he agreed to take the mark. He had hesitated for only a second, was he really ready to simply hand over his life like this? The decision was made for him when a bound figure was thrown at his feet. A quick glance revealed that the figure was his father.

"Pledge yourself to me and his life is yours to do as you please with."

Those simple words were all it took and he eagerly bared his forearm for the man to mark. What followed was a blood bath as he allowed all of his pent up anger to be unleashed on a terrified man. He did things that he never would have considered doing at any other point in his life and all because he had suppressed his pain and fear for so long.

When he apparated outside the Hogwarts grounds hours later he was still covered in the man's blood and he was haunted by the screams of a man who had died simply because he had defied forces that he could have never understood. It was there on the edge of the Forbidden Forest that Severus realized exactly what he had done that night.

He had allowed himself to become no better then his father. He had done the one thing he had promised never do and he had sunk to the man's level of playing cruel games with a captive audience. The fact that he had become just like his father destroyed what little amount of self respect that he had built for himself.

It was there, at the edge of the Forbidden Forest that he finally broke down and cried honest tears for the first time in over a year. His innocence had been shattered by his father but he had shattered his own humanity in one fell swoop. He realized exactly what he had given up by allowing himself to be branded and he realized just what the brand on his arm meant.

It was a badge of death and he knew that for as long as he lived more would die if he continued to wear the mark. It was a binding contract though. He was permanently bonded to his new master and only death would break the bond that they now shared. The reality was that only by his death would he manage to safe the innocent lives of a thousand faces.

With his mind made up he made his way back into the castle. When he entered Slughorn's apartments he was glad to see that the man had not decided to wait up for him. He made his way to his room and got his CD player before returning to the main room to wait.

Slughorn found him there the next morning. The image of the boy frightened him. Slughorn had never seen Severus look so serious and so emotionally detached. The loud rock music that played in the background provided a haunting soundtrack that only served to accentuate Severus' words.

"I joined Voldemort last night." The quiet dead voice fell on Slughorn's ears like a sledgehammer and he watched in growing horror as Severus rolled up the sleeve of his robe to reveal that mark that was burned into his flesh.

"He gave me my father and I killed him for everything he had done to me. I hate myself." Throughout his whole speech there wasn't a flicker of emotion and Slughorn marveled at the changes that had occurred in his apprentice in such a short time.

"I just wanted to say good bye. You were the only one to ever treat me with any respect and I just wanted to let you know how much it meant to me that you actually cared." Slughorn watched in shock as Severus slowly removed his wand from its holster and held the slim wooden shaft to his throat.

"I have to die so I won't kill any others. As long as I remain bonded to him I'll kill again and I can't allow myself to do that. One life is worth a thousand others." He fell silent and the only sound was the blaring of Severus' CD player. The song had switched as he spoke and the haunting melody and words of a truly sad song hung in the air.

"I don't think you trust,

In my, self righteous suicide,

I, cry, when angels deserve to die.

The haunting song continued and Severus tightened his grip on his wand.

"Goodbye professor." Slughorn moved forward to stop him but the words were already out of his mouth before he could take a single step.

"Avada Kedavra!"

"Trust in my self righteous suicide,

I cry when angels deserve to die

In my self righteous suicide

I cry when angels deserve to die."

The song's melody slowly ended as Horace Slughorn ran over to the boy that was now slumped on his couch. It simply wasn't fair that one had chosen to end his life for the sake of unknown others. To save the the lives of a thousand unknown faces.

For some strange reason however it felt right. It felt right because the boy who had never found peace in his life had finally found peace in his own self righteous suicide. The words of the song haunted Horace Slughorn as he held the boy he had considered a son to his chest and wept tears that he had not wept in years.

When the body in his arms finally grew cold he lowered Severus back onto the couch and went into his study where he opened the locked drawer of his desk. He removed a perfectly preserved sheet of parchment from inside and slowly signed his name at the bottom. The letter was his resignation letter. He had not planned to use it for a couple years but somehow the thought of teaching any other students seemed inappropriate. This would be his tribute to a child who had given his life to save a thousand unknown faces.

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**The song lyrics come from "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down. The last part of the last chapter is made far more powerful by actually listening to the song when you read it.**

**I in NO way condone suicide. It is now said and made very very clear thatsuicideis an answer to NOTHING. I'm not suicidal so don't get that idea from my writing. **

Please review and no flames please.


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